Have you ever experienced magnetic love… that’s bad for you?
Have you ever experienced magnetic love… that’s bad for you… and you know it.
Yeah… it’s like you are so attracted to them in so many ways… but something is off.
Logically you know this can’t be love… but the feelings are so intense they can’t be ignored.
I remember my mom saying… “why would you ever want to be treated like this?”
And nothing I could say would ever make her understand the way he made me feel.
He was a magnet with the strongest pull I had ever experienced and I got it confused with…. love.
He was great, fun, exciting, I could take him anywhere, easy to talk to, easy to get along with… great in public….
But behind the scenes….
There was always a lie to uncover.
Almost like a second life to be discovered.
He was great at ignoring me. Great at making me feel like I wanted too much from him.
I turned into a doormat… that he didn’t respect.
I was always there for him. Promising to help him through his… “issues”. He came to expect me to be there and it got to a point where he knew he could come and go as he pleased.
Empty promises seemed to be the theme. All the while… I couldn’t think about anything but him and the “good times”. I clung to them… living in the past until another one would come along. Each time… getting farther and farther apart.
It wasn’t until my life had suddenly been changed forever that I was forced to deal with the reality instead of the fairy tale I made up in my head.
That change was a little boy. He looked just like his father and was the version of him I could have forever. The version that would love me deeper than his dad was ever capable of.
That little boy changed everything. And that little boy saved me. He saved me from living in delusion. I stopped accepting less. I started only accepting the best.
But still the same problem… I was living for someone else. My child got me on the right track until I was able to start living for myself.
Now I know enough to fill myself up first so I have more to offer my family, my work, and the world. I know that I was uniquely created for a purpose only I can fulfill. I learned that my voice will be heard, not by everyone but by those who need it. I learned that the world needs my creativity, contribution, and love in order to evolve according to Gods unique plan.
So what about you? If you want to grow, reflect on these questions…
When is enough going to be enough?
When will you learn your true value?
When will you be willing to try anything to get the results your 8-year-old little girl thought you would have?
What impact are you making on the world?
Are you living for yourself? Or for someone else?