A few days ago, I was talking with a new friend and she asked what I did for a living. I proceed to tell her that I coach women and she was surprised that people actually pay for that “stuff”. I was a little surprised by her response, but then I got thinking about how if she hasn’t ever had a coach that she wouldn’t necessarily understand their benefits.
It made me sad because the person I was talking to was very unhappy in her life. She was very frustrated by her lack of individuality in her relationship. She felt controlled and criticized by her partner. But… obviously since she is “living the life” her vantage point was one of great success…….
This experience made me feel called to debunk some of the myths about love coaching:
1. It’s all motivational quotes and pretty flowers:
Coaches don’t search for memes all day long to help you feel better. They also don’t fart rainbows and roses either. It is actually the opposite. A coach will push you harder than you can ever push yourself. They will move you past your comfort zone so you make more growth than you have ever experienced in your life. They don’t except excuses, make you take full responsibility for your life and help you turn your deepest desires into your reality. It’s hard work. I am not going to tell you it will be easy… but I will tell you it will be worth every penny. At that point… you might notice the occasional rainbow farts!
2. Success isn’t a ONE SIZE fits all approach:
If you think success is the same for everyone you are wrong. Dating someone who makes you happy and feel safe maybe one persons goal while another person may want someone they can work out with. Coaches help you get clear on your desires and help you define your success through processes of introspection and clarification. The homework and feedback they give you makes it impossible to figure it out without support.
3. Anyone can be a coach:
This is defiantly FALSE and here is why…. It is easier to be a mentor because anyone can be one. However, not anyone can be a coach. Mentorship requires that you have a little more experience or knowledge than the person you are mentoring. In mentoring, there is no real goal, no definition of where you want to go, and no specific set of skills necessary to help accomplish anything. Whereas coaching requires the skills, knowledge, and processes to help the client get from point A to point B. Coaches do not give ‘I think you should try this’ advice. Instead a coach has developed a system to get you where you want to go. A coach will walk you through exactly what you need to do to get there.
4. You can’t afford a coach:
When my clients finish my program I always ask them what the program was worth to them. The answer I got from my client yesterday was, “well… your program is worth the cost of a divorce, which I looked up and it is half of my assets AND the cost of a wedding which is around 20k.”
I get asked all the time how I can go from teaching to coaching. My answer is, “I got my first coach in 2015 and sense then, I have spent thousands on coaches who all have been the reason I am building the life I desire and not just settling with the one I had. If your thinking, why would she do that? I totally understand. I understand because that is the mindset you have always live with and that is okay. But, let me ask you something. If everything you have been doing was enough to help you get everything that you want… then wouldn’t you have everything you want already?
It’s time to learn and try something different.
BECAUSE of the coaching I have committed to, I have been able to condense YEARS of trial and error into a few short months of getting everything I want out of life plus more! Living a happy life and finally being treated like a princess and loved for the person I am is worth more to me than anything.
The truth is… IF YOU want to live an AMAZING life, you can’t afford NOT to have a coach… or two like I do!