GET OUT of your head. STOP telling yourself stories.
Stories of the past.
Stories of regret.
Stories of failure.
Stories of disbelief.
Stories that he is going to come back.
HE LEFT YOU. He left you and he is GONE. Give up on him. Give up on the idea of him. Give up on your plans, your future, your dreams with him.
Holding on to the idea of him is your way of trying to keep the relationship alive. And if he comes back, you BETTER NOT take him back.
YOU ARE NOT something he can set aside and come back to when it is CONVENIENT for him. A man who leaves you, may come back, but it won’t be long before he either gets “distracted” again or he remembers why he left in the first place. Don’t even for a second give him the idea that he can CONTROL and MANIPULATE your feelings. If you do, he will start playing with your emotions.
Give yourself a few days to fully feel your loss and then pick yourself up and pull your shoulders back and move on in life with your dignity.
You can’t make anyone stay with you against their will and you DEFINITELY are not a door mat for ANYONE to come back and use when it’s convenient.